Bleach Tourture Randomness: Season 1!
by Jet-The-Stray
Summary: Do you like to watch Ichigo get hurt? Or do you rather like to see Renji explode? Well if you do, Please read and reveiw!
1. Funny Beginning

**Bleach Tourture Randomness: Season 1!!**

D: HELLO ALL!

Ichigo: Wow. you're feeling good today.

D: SHUT UP RENJI LOVER BOY!! -throws peanutbutter at Ichigo-

Ichigo: AAAAHHH!! THE EVIL PEANUBTUUER! IT BUUUURRRRNNNSSSS!!

D: now that he's out of the way. allow me to introduce my self. I am the all mighty random author named Dalton, but you can call me D.

Audience: HURRAYYY!!

Renji: yeah, we know you.

D: STFU BYAKUYA FAN GUY!! -throws ice cream at Renji-

Renji: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Byakuya: you're punishing a lot arent you?

D: yes. but that's because i wanna make a great fic. that's why i'm gonna make a great Reveiw showing you all how this fic works!

_BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!! I have some tourures for the cast!_

_Ichigo: ADMIT YOU ARE REALLY A CRAZED FAN BOY OF RENJI'S OR HACE THE DESTRUCTION OF ICHIGO!_

_Renji:...die..._

_Uryu: Quincy boy! destroy you're bow._

_Byakuya: ...eat 20 pounds of dumplings._

_And that's all i got! keep up the good work!!_

_-insert name here-_

D: Then the fun begins!

Ichigo: uhh...who said i was a crazed fan boy?

D: the press.

Ichigo:...well i'm not.

D: then you shall face the wrath...of THE DREADED PEANUBUTTER!!

Ichigo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!-falls in giant vat of peanubutter-

Renji: WTF!? WAHT'D I DO TO YOU!?

D: You existed...

Byakuya: 20 pounds...OF DUMPLINGS!?

D: of course! how else would you go insane!

Byakuya:...i wouldn't...

D: oh...WELL START EATING!!

Byakuya:...fine...-starts eating dumplings-

20 pounds of dumplings later...

Byakuya: ugh...i feel sick...

Renji: hey Byakuya. dude you don't look so good...

Byakuya: -pukes-

D: BWAHAHAHAHAH!! O-o-ok, now that i've explained, PLEAASE REVEIW! ESPECIALLY IF YOU ENJOY TOURTURING ICHIGO AND RENJI!!

Ichigo and Renji: HEY!

**I don't own Bleach. PLEASE REVEIW!! If you reveiw you'll get a free Hersheygo Bar! Hershygo Bar. A Chocolate Bar mixed with Ichigo!! now avalible in 3 different flavors.**


	2. One reveiw makes Author sad

**Bleach Tourture Randomnes: Season 1!!**

D:-snore-

Renji: he's...asleep?

Orihemi: Shhh!! He's sweeping!!

All: -swetdrops-

D: -rolls over-

Orihemi: -rubs ears-

D: -wakes up- Orihemi...what're you doing?

Orihemi: Uh...not rubbing you're fluffly doggy ears? eheheh...

D:...ok...well now that i'm awake. our first reveiwer is Ekima Yawaguchi. and i think she's hyper...

_That was amazing! I think you should make Renji eat 10 uber spicy burritoes.  
His head would really explode then! Now where's my Hershygo bar!?  
_

Renji: uber spicy burritos?

D: is uber a word?

Uryu: it's not in the dictionary.

Ichigo: uhh...does it mean Really?

D: uhh...you mean like THat's a uber awesome dog you got.

Uryu: aparently...

D: good, cause now i'm REALLY annoyed with you Uryu! and ya wanna know why!?

Uryu: uhh...why?

D: because...YOU'RE A NERD!!

All: -sweatdrops-

Renji: -starts eating burrito's- oh...wow...t-the's are really -gulp- spicy...

Ichigo: HAHAHAHAH!! HIS FACE IS BURNING UP!

Renji: ugh...-KABOOOOMMMMM!!-

All: wtf!? o.O

D: huh? wha happened? oh yeah, here's you're hershygo bar! it taste like chocolate and it has ichigo body parts in it! -bites- mmmm...i got a rib!

Hollowdude: -bites- i got his soul...Muahahahahahah!!

D: cool a hollow...DIE!! -kills hollow in the most evil way you could think of-

Orihemi: ears...so...fluffy...must...resist...rubbing them...

D: uhhh...Orihemi? you ok?

Orihemi: uh yeah!

D: ok then. well i'm going back to sleep, so please reveiw or there will be no show! And frankly i like this show. so...-yawn- please reveiw...-falls asleep-

Orihemi: ears...so...rubbable...-starts rubbing-

All: -sweatdrops-

Ichigo: well, anyways please reveiw!

**Don't own Bleach. But please review! If you reveiw you'll get some Nerdyus! Nerds combined with Uryu! **_**Nerdyu's Nerdyu's...Come get you're Nerdyu's Now! **_**Now available in strawberry mango, and Cherry Berry.**


	3. Weird

**Bleach Tourture Randomnes: Season 1!!**

D:Hmmm...i'm hungry...do we have any food?

Ichigo: well yeah, but that's for a tourture i think.

D: really? which one?

Ichigo: well, we got a reveiw from a veiwer, read it.

D: alright but first...-throws peanubutter at Ichigo-

Ichigo: WAAAAAHHHH!! IT BURRRNNNSSSS!!

D: ok, our first and i guess only reveiwer is...urahara's uke.

_lols XD; so we're supposed to give ways to torture the BLEACH cast?...Lock  
Ichigo in a room with ulquoirra, Kenpachi and grimmjow (really SMALL room)  
mwahahaha. Eat lots of food in front of Renji and not let him have any, tie  
candy to their backs so Yachiru and Nel follow them round seretai. Keep up the  
good work i'll be staying tuned. here, have a anti-writers block cookie and a  
Kon with torture weapons.  
_

Ichigo: WAAAHHHHH!! GET IT OFF!!

D: here, go into this really small closet theres a towel.

Ichigo: -goes in closet-

Kenpachi: HEY! IT'S ICHIGO!!

Ulquiorra:ICHIIIIGOOOOOOOO!!-turns into a chibi-

Grimmjow: YOU'LL FINALLY DIE ICHIGO!!

Ichigo: oh crap...

Kenpachi: HEY HE'S MINE FIRST!-grabs ichigo's arm-

Ulquiorra: NO HE'S MINE!! -grabs ichigo's other arm-

Grimmjow: NOES! HE IS MINE!! -grabs ichigo's leg-

Kenpachi: MINE! -pulls harder-

Ulquiorra: MINE!! -pulls hardes-

Grimmjow: NO MINE!! -pulls harder with a tentacle-

All: Wtf!? whered he get the tentacle?

D: MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Renji: NOOOOEEESSSS!! -tied to a chair-

D: -starts eating-

Renji: T.T

Yachiru: ...I SMELL CANDY!!

Nel: CANNNNDDDYYYYY!!

All: Wha!? -get glomped by Yachiru and Nel-

D: -still eating other food- awesome! cookie!

Renji: HE GET'S A COOKIE TO!?

Kon#2: AND ME! I HAVE TOURTUROUS THINGS! BWAHAHAHAHAH!! -shoots renji in the toes-

Renji: GAH!

Kon#1: WHA!? THERE'S AN EVEN AWESOMER ME!?

Kon#2: DIE!! -blows up Kon-

D: well, since we don't have any more reviews...i guess we will have to stop now.

All: Hurray!!

D: but i strongly advise you to tell people about this story and please reveiw! please...I'M BEGGING YOU!!

Orihemi: -staring at ears-

D: orihemi? why are you staring?

Orihemi: i'm not!

D: ok...well PLEASE REVEIW!! OR ELSE THE WORLD WILL END! Or at the the soulsociety will.

**Don't own bleach, please review! I'll do whatever you want! PLEASE REIVEW!!**


	4. Hmm

**Bleach Tourture Randomness: Season 1!!**

D: ...

Ichigo:...is he ok? -pokes-

D: RAWR!! -bites Ichigo on teh leg-

Ichigo: AHHHHHHHH!!

D: -lett's go- oh sorry, you're leg looked like a stick...

Ichigo: Why are you such a dog?

D: -staring at tennis ball-

Ichigo: i give up...

D: huh!? whered he go? oh well, our first reveiwer is benehime.chan!

_put Ichigo in a dress, and handcuff him to Renji!  
force all to eat Orihimes' cooking, while u have good stuff for them (only if  
they beg) see if Kenpachi can figure out his swords' name._

love story  
Hime

Ichigo:...a dress?

D: Do it...or die!! -wearing hollow mask with huge zanpakto-

Ichigo: OO OK!! -puts on dress- Ugh, what size is it!?

D: i think like a size one?

Ichigo: wow...

Renji: I'M HERE FOR THE BUFFET- -looks at Ichigo- pffft...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

D: don't laugh, you have to be hand cuffed to him.

Renji:...i hate you...

D: whatever...-handcuffs to Ichigo-

Renji: i will destroy you...

Ichigo: I'll eat you're head!

All: o.o

Uryu: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Byakuya: AGH!!

Orihemi: EAT IT!! -shoves food in everyone's mouth-

All: GAH!! PLEASE!! GIVE US GOOD FOOD!!

D: huh? why should i give yuo any?

Soi fon: cuz i'm hot?

Unohona: yeah!

Yourichi: PLEASE!! -puppy dog eyes-

D: OK!! -hands food to all of the girls- NO FOOD FO YOUS!!

Guys: TT

Zaraki: uhh...is it cake?

D: no...

Zaraki: uhhh...ice cream?

D: no...

-2 hours later-

D: -asleep-

Zaraki: I GOT NOTHING!

D: -wakes up- agh...you're so annoying...-pulls lever and Zaraki falls into a pit of stupid people- any ways, next up is Urahara's uke...-falls back asleep-

_YAY! I loves you so much, that was hillarious. I don't believe other people  
aren't reveiwing this :( I think it's awesome. If you don't mind and i think  
of anything else i could be a regular and torture them lots. P.S Can it be any  
bleach member? Glad you liked the cookie._

-Steal all of Aizens tea and don't give it back until he's had a nervous  
breakdown.  
-Hide Ulquirras eyeliner  
-Give Gin a makeover (he wont notice he's always got his eyes closed)  
-Replace byakuyas hairthing (i forgot the name lols) with a pink bow. XD  
-Tell kenpachi Ichigo called him a sissy and give him a tracking device so he  
knows where ichigo is all times.  
-Tell Ishida that Kon says he cant sew and give him a tracking device also  
-Tie Ichigo and Renji to a chair and force them to watch really baddly dubbed  
episodes of naruto Believe It!

Well thats all for now have another cookie oh and a grenade launcher here-  
i have loads.  


D: -wakes up- uhh...don't you think "love" is the wrong term? and yes, it can be any charecter...even Urahara.

Urahara: Yup! -stabs Ichigo- I have stabity isshues!

D: i already have the tea. -sips- wow! that's good! -drinks-

Aizen: i'll be right back to the meeting...-looks in tea closet- ...NOOOOOOOOOOO!! ALL MY TEA IS GONE!! -spazzes out-

D: i think that's my que...-shoots tranqualizer gun at Aizen-

Aizen: GAH! -passes out-

D: -grabs Ulqiorra's Eyeliner- ok, wheres a good hiding spot...AHAH!! -hides under chair-

Ulqiorra: hmm...i need to redo meh eyes...-looks in cabinet- what? wheres my eyeliner!? WHERE!? -freaks out killing random people-

D: -sigh- i'm stuck with the work...-takes Byakuya's hair thingy and replaces it with a pink hairbow-

Byakuya: -wakes up- man, being awesome is tough...-puts hair thing on not noticing the difference-

Everyone in serietie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! BYKUYA'S A GIRL!!

Byakuya:...i hate my life...

D: heh, my favorite part...-walks up to Zenpaki- HEY KENPACHI!!

Kenpachi: YOU! ARE YOU HERE TO FIGHT ME TO THE DEATH!?

D: no...

Kenpachi: AWWW!! -pouts-

D: but i did come to tell you that Ichigo called you a sissy.

Kenpachi: WHAT!? I'LL FIND AND DESTROY HIM!!

-Kenpachi looks for about twenty minutes-

Kenpachi: I CAN'T FIND HIM!!

D: -about to fall asleep- here, take this tracking device, it'll lead ya right to him...

Kenpachi: YAY!! -following little blip on screen-

Ichigo: -right under his nose...literally- Hey Zaraki!

Kenpachi: ICHIGO!! YOU CALLED ME A SISSY!! -attacks Ichigo-

Ichigo: GAH!!

D: -sigh- now i gotta walk all the way back to the human world...or i could do this! -snaps fingers and is right beside Uryu-

Uryu: GAH! Don't do that...it's creepy...

D: my bad... anyways, Kon wanted me to tell you that you're stitching sucked, yeah, he's weird...

Uryu:...I WILL DESTUFF THAT LITTLE PEICE OF CRAP!!

D: oh, here's a tracking device if you need it. -hands uryu tracking device-

Uryu: thanks...NOW I'MMA GONNA KEEL YOU KON!! -tracks down Kon-

D: now, to get back to the studio...-snaps fingers-

All: HOW'D YOU DO THAT!?

D: i have awesome author powers, how else?

All: oh...

Ichigo: CAN WE BE UNCUFFED NOW!?

Renji: YEAH!!

D: sure.

Ichigo and Renji: YAY!!

D: but now you go to the chair.

Ichigo and Renji: NOOOOOOOOOO!!

D: and you have to watch badly dubbed episodes of Naruto.

Ichigo and Renji: NOOOOEEESSS!!

D: crap, i forgot to have someone give Gin a makeover...

Yachiru: I'LL DO IT!!

D: ok...give him a crappy makeover and you'll get all the candy you can eat!

Yachiru: YAAAAYYYYYSSSSS!!-goes up to Gin- HEY CAPTAIN GIN!!

Gin: ? why hello Lt. Yachiru, what can i do for you today?

Yachiru: Will you let me give you a make over?

Gin: -has weird expression- what? oh come now, you can't be serious...

Yachiru: PUHWEASE!! -puppy dog eyes-

Gin:...fine...

Yachiru: YAY!! -gets ti work-

2 hours later...

Yachiru: Done!!

Gin: -looks in mirror and looks like one of those stupid hobo/hippies on the street- GAH! I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!!

Kaname: well i can't see you so...

Aizen: -still spazzing out-

D: well, that's our show, please reveiw! and tell you're freinds, please? please? PLEASE!? -yawn- i'm tired...i'm going to sleep...

Orihemi:...-thinking- must rub ears!!

D: huh? i thought i heard something...oh well...ADIOS! REVEIWER PEOPLES!!

**PLease reveiw...if you do i'll give you a free zanpakto! and it can be custimizable! so reveiw please!**


End file.
